By: Melissa de Haan Cummings - Oct 28, 2015
He turned forty five yesterday!
Can you believe it!
Well I'm gonna turn seventy
in a few months
Do you believe me?
No You're turning eighty
I feel like Santa Claus
You haven't got enough belly
That's easy to come by
Are you grateful you got this old?
O yah Think about the guys
I grew up with who aren't here
The hockey player who blew himself up
playing with a can of shaving cream
He couldn't get out of the bathroom
The girl next door saw him crying for help
He was the goalie on Joe's team
And the one who drove his motorcycle
into a neck high chain
that wasn't there the day before
I met his sister at Macy's
She was selling shoes
She said it destroyed the family
Wasn't there one who electrocuted himself
with an aluminum ladder or something?
I don't know
Will knows the names of all these guys
What about the one who tried to hang himself?
Used to hang out with Tibbetts
He's in federal prison for life
for killing someone
And not only the Lanesville guys
People I went to college with
And graduate school
They still smoke
They don't exercise
I know I'm overdressed
Me too I'm dressed for yesterday
Well if you're walking you have to
The weather could turn either way
I'm gonna need a bigger bag
to carry all these clothes in
I know You wear them in the morning
By ten you take off a layer
By noon you have to carry a load
Do you guys know about Sammo?
Well there are a lot of versions
Who did he kill?
I talked to Chris a bunch of times
Each time she said something different
Apparently the father was abusing
his younger brother
How did he kill him?
Chopped his head off
Play football with it
No it's Isis!