God as a California Genius with a Garage Band
By: Arnie Reisman - Nov 14, 2014
When God was a young California genius,
He spent six days in his garage creating
What we know today as life on earth.
On the seventh day he rested in the hammock
In his backyard away from the fire pit
He looked down at the grass and saw it needed mowing
But that was just one of the reasons
He would create the next week and the week after that
So he got into his convertible, put down his halo
And drove to the zoo.
He loved animals.
They were convenient proof he knew what he was doing.
He offered the animals liberty, equality, fraternity
“Everything ends with tea. How civilized!,”
Said the monkey marveling at his ability
To hold his pinky upright.
Too soon, God thought.
Then the march hare and the dormouse
Dumped their tea into the sea
And threw the king and queen in there too
God smiled and handed the animals democracy on a plate
Batteries were not included
Neither were instructions
The animals appeared confused
As he was leaving, God communed in hushed tones with the sloth:
“I don’t care what anyone says. You are not a deadly sin.”
Back at his garage
Inspired by disruptive innovation
And irrational exuberance,
On days 8 through 13,
He created the oral tradition, climate change, kindness,
Rhapsody, the lawn mower and the convection oven.
He thought to himself
Forget liberty, equality, fraternity,
I’m going with serendipity.
Out of serendipity can come joy, mystery, the a-ha moment
To have serendipity, there must be chaos
Let me reiterate, because we live to reiterate
There must be chaos
Anyone who tries to impose order
Does not understand the meaning of life
Where there’s order
The devil is in the details.
On the fourteenth day he climbed to the roof of his garage
Installed a lightning rod
Spotted three pigeons perched on an eave
And warned them against organized religion
After midnight he went back into the garage
Waiting for him was Adam on electric guitar
Eve on vocals
Snake on drums
God sat down at the keyboard
They jammed and woke up the neighborhood.